gurlfriend: happy fathers day
bf: but im not a dad
gf: :)

lifewithoutrory:

"id date a fan" doesnt mean "id date a 12 year old who knows more about me than i do"

Over the years we’ve had a variety of odd pairs

nothenks:

little-cyes-2:

We have a frog and a pig

image

a rabbit and a promiscuously drawn woman

image

a donkey and a dragon

image

a shape shifting dog and a rainbow unicorn

image

these two

image

and a warthog with a meerkat who raise a lion cub

image

But no one will ever accept the Bee Movie

image

I thought this was gonna be about gay couples but gee was I mistaken

snapchatting:

what’s the difference between a lawyer and a mango? lots of things! i love to make jokes

burgerkid:

burgerkid:

burgerkid:

Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad?

His mummy.

i lost 10 followers already

goatdick:

why leak nudes of female celebrities that are private and personal when u can do the right thing and make hypermuscled edits of them to enjoy

image

betalars:

friend-zoning guys is horrible. it is disgusting. funzone them instead. send them to a small childs park so they can cry with the other babies when they dont get what they want.

valentinostclaire:

Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?

getsby:

"ur bra strap is showing" u say

children begin to scream

tears r streaming down my face

my parents disown me and sell me to a shady, moustached man for three goats

no one can ever kno i wear a bra

September  1 513656
euph0ricr3ality:

perfection

euph0ricr3ality:

perfection